Girls go to college to get more knowledge

  We have all made so many sacrifices in our lives especially when you have a family. I didn't even have to think twice about putting off my dream of being a nurse.  I knew and wanted to stay home and be with my kids.  It has been the best gift my husband has ever given me.  We may not have been able to have brand new cars and go to Disney World, but so what!!  My kids don't know the difference and never complain about not getting there Mickey ears.  To each there own, but I would not change it for anything.  they are getting older now and Rocco will be in school in three years so I am making it official!  I am now in Pre-Nursing at Tri-C!!  I may be able to start as soon as the 30th of Jan.  If all my paperwork can not be processed I will start this summer, but so what I am a student again. I went and took my COMPASS test yesterday, which is a placement test, and have never in my life felt so stupid.  I can not believe how much i do not remember. The math was crazy. I almost got up and left because I just was so overwhelmed.  I didn't.  I stuck it out and placed really well in English and atleast got into Pre-Algebra, but I was never great at math.  My sister thiugh is great at math and has her masters in math so  have her to help me gt through.  I just am so excited I can not stand it!!  Pray for speedy processin and I will let you know what happends!!!!

Okay kids grow up way to fast. Do I sound like your mom? I remember thinking when my mother said that “ whatever”. Well mom I can proudly admit that you were RIGHT! You are not full of it like I thought for so many years and if I would of only listened to you more I would have avoided many dilemmas in my life. 2 of my kids are teenagers and this is the time in your life when you start not liking your kids. Now do not freak out it is not all the time, I feel physical pain sometimes because of the amount of love I have for my children. What a huge blessing in my life don't know what I would do with out them. They are these little, beautiful perfect babies that love you and the hugs and kisses are endless! But then ,let me tell you about 12 years old they turn into these little beings that you do not know. Sometimes my daughters eyes roll up so far in her head I think that has got to hurt! Well there are times when I tell my kids they are so lucky that I love them because if I didn't, I would hurt them. Yes, for sure a big bloody lip. You know when you are watching a movie and they go to a scene the person is thinking about, well that does happen and in my mind they are knocked out cold! It never happens and honestly after about 20 mins the thrill of a good knock out has faded and it is back to just a good old grounding. I am sometimes just sickened by the way our society and generation allow children to act. I do not feel any kind of guilt for my kids not having IPODS or IPADS or the newest video games or anything like that. My oldest is 15 and just got a phone about a month of go. He is my only kid with a phone and that is fine. Know what your kids are doing too!! They should not have privacy with there phones or computers. In the bathroom, yes privacy but know what your kids are up too. If they know you are reading there texts,which I do, then they are less likely to send things that they shouldn't and I for one do not want to be caught of guard ever. When they are adults that is when they can have privacy not before that. I have a great relationship with my kids. We hangout a lot they all even the older ones hug and kiss me tell me they love me but, being your child’s friend is not really possible. This is totally my own take on things but let me tell you we learn from experiences right?

 Today we are going to talk about Misty!  Misty is not a person it is actually the name I gave my cancer.  I have no idea why I chose that particular name but that is what I picked.  I decided to name it in order to talk about it in front of my kids.  The little ones especially. I will never forget that day.  I picked up the phone and as soon as I heard this is "Dr. Mulligan" I new it was bad news.  I only remember him saying "unfortunately there is caner".  After that I remember nothing else.  I some how managed to write down a number for a surgeon he wanted me to call.  I have never been so cold in my life as I was after hearing that news.  I was literally shivering.  Freezing cold.  Of course I was home alone with five of my seven kids and I remember falling to the ground and being simply terrified. I called my husband and told him and he came home right away.  I called everyone and just told them to come over.  I just needed to be surrounded with as many people as possible anything to distract me from having to deal with Misty. 
  I get angry when I hear people talk about Thyroid cancer as being the "good" cancer.  There is no such thing as a good cancer.  Even though my cancer is treatable, and i am so thankful to God for that, it is still cancer and trust me all cancer is life changing I do not care how treatable it is.  I at this minute am day by day in how I feel.  Most days I feel awful and I honest to goodness try not to let anyone know how I am feeling.  I am not good about needing and excepting help although I am so grateful for the help I have received during this bump in the road.  The love I have received from people who I didn't expect it from has been awesome.  You also learn who is really there for you too.  I have made some really dear friends throughout this.  People I knew well before but now consider part of my family.  This today has been pretty therapeutic actually because I have not talked about how I felt with anyone. .  But with the people I had around me they really wanted to know.  Some of them have actually been through it themselves.  I know now that you really can not know how something feels unless you have been there.  So I try really hard just to be there for people and not pretend like I know how they feel.  just listen and do what ever I can to help.

As a mom you need to get away. Not necessarily out of the house, just away. We always tell our kids to “ use your imagination”, well that is what we should do. I am not going to hide it anymore throughout the day I am a princess, singer, actor, whatever I want to be to make the day fun!! When I watch Enchanted I am Giselle. I am a princess waiting for my prince. Then let me tell you that when a song comes on I sing it like I am Mariah Carey. I am a Grammy winning singer baby! Do it! Love it! Talk with a British accent to your kids. They will look at you funny, but most of the time they totally join in! When you are totally overwhelmed stop what ever you are doing and put on the radio and dance!! Ellen is right about dancing it is the best stress reliever and you have to smile when you are dancing, especially when you are watching me. Do not be afraid to act kid like with your children they always bring out the best in us. I love watching kids see things for the first time they are just in awe. They have these big eyes just starring off into what ever they are seeing. The ocean is the best. The stars whatever it is. Sometime we need to remember that and our kids do that for us.

Beautiful Chaos

  OK, this is the first of many posts, I hope, of a mad and crazy momma.  Not mad like angry, mad like insane.  The insane you get to about half way through your day when you stay at home with kids.  I do not need a white jacket or padded walls yet, but sometimes I do walk outside and scream like I am bleeding. Do not get me wrong I love my kids and that I am able to stay home with them more then anything in the world, but I am human and everyone needs a good scream every now and then.
  Insane is not always bad and screams are not always because you are angry, so don't get me wrong most the time they are both good.  90% of my days are great!  The mornings where they all make the bus and no one over sleeps.  I actually am able to put makeup on and do not look like a scary person that you warn your kids to stay away from before I have to run out the door to some practice or game or school event or just ANYTHING and EVERYTHING. As moms, and not just stay at home moms, we are expected to be jugglers.  Can handle anything with a smile kind of people, well some days yes and some days no. It is always good to try our best but that is not going to happen.  Guess what I no longer care.  I am just gonna do my best and that is it.  This blog is going to be about just that.  Everyday mom stuff that just happens.  I hope you read it and love it because I will tell you right now that the amount of " beautiful Chaos"  I have in my life has createrd a lot of funny stuff.  Until next time.......